Learn to Understand Your Partner For a Better Relationship
We humans are a complex species. While we share the ability to think and express ourselves, we also have many differences. Characteristically we are all physically different and so are our minds, behaviours and capabilities. An understanding of our differences is the key to living a peaceful and happy life.
When you bring this knowledge to bear in your relationship things becomes easier – you know how, where and when to relate with your partner in any circumstance. But you can’t just do this out of the box; you must make conscious and consistent effort in getting to know your partner. The mistake we make too often is to conceive that love comes to our partners with full knowledge of us. This makes us feel that if we are loved then we should be easily understood.
Yes, this should be the case but remember that understanding comes from learning. If the relationship has developed over time from friendship then this can really be the case. But way too often love sprouts too quickly leaving little room for adequate learning about those we are in love with. In any case, learning is a process that should continue as long as a relationship exists. The more you learn to understand your partner and relate with them accordingly, the healthier your relationship becomes.
What does my partner value? Are they things they really dislike that I must avoid? What does my partner need, what don’t they? When should I do what and how do I? These types of inquiries can aid you to act and respond more appropriately to help your relationship grow. If you approach a relationship with a lukewarm attitude towards your partner’s growth and interests, you will inevitably drain the relationship energy and leave it weak and suffocating.
A key attribute of love is selflessness. Outside love selflessness equates to sacrifice, in love it is richly rewarding with timely benefits. Don’t make the mistake of putting yourself first in a truly loving relationship. Focus on your partner. Do more of giving than expecting, more of doing than saying and more of knowing than asking to be known. Selflessness is an indispensable characteristic of love.
Very little things matter most in relationships and these are the things people often neglect. Acknowledge your partner’s missed calls, reply to their text messages, apologize when you are wrong, show gratitude, encourage and support, express faith in your partner, show genuine concern in their interests, express your love in words, hold hands in public, listen and cuddle often. These are expressions of love that are generally worth practicing. Even so, we all value them differently.
When you understand your partner it helps you ascertain what they value most and what they value less. Naturally you develop knowledge of your partner from your day to day interactions. But you must make conscious effort towards this. The best approach is to ask questions and get clarifications where you are uncertain. Don’t assume to know. You could even ask your partner to teach you to know them better and in turn do the same. This is especially useful if your partner is a difficult person to read.
If it feels like the fuel in our relationship is burning out we often cast our fingers on our partners, pointing out things they often do and aren’t doing anymore. This line of thinking implies selfishness. Your focus should rather be on what you could be doing wrongly or what you should do that you aren’t doing. Your partners’ actions might as well be a corresponding reaction to your actions or inaction.
Despite our differences, there are things we still share in common. We are all receptive to love and capable of learning. Learn to understand your partner and you will be sure of a constant stream of beautiful love. Do not focus on receiving the love but rather on giving it and you will inevitably get back full and overwhelming measures. But whether or not you get adequate love in return, love anyways. When you understand your partner well you are bound to love them better.
Have a beautiful relationship!