Reasons Why Guys Breakup With Girls Who Love Them
A guy meets a girl, the girl soon falls in love and not too long the relationship comes to an end – the guy breakups with the girl. Her expectation of marriage crumbles.
Not a happy ending, yet it’s a common occurrence. So the question is why? Why would a guy breakup a girl that loves him?
To keep things short, I will answer this question in two parts. The first is that timing is important. The second, which is the most crucial part, is that love alone is not enough. Now let me explain what I mean by each of these perspectives.
Timing is important
Many relationships start off on wrong footings. Either there are no clear bases for the establishment of the relationship or a partner may have hidden motive. Well, some of such relationships evolve beyond their limitations to become vibrant and lasting relationships. But that is not always the case.
For things to work out well, you and your guy must want the same thing at the same time. Clarity of purpose is important. If you are going into a relationship with the aim of getting married, let the guy know. You may want a serious relationship but he may simply want a girl to flirt or have sex with. If he is not ready to settle down any time soon, the relationship may be a waste of time for you.
Also, it could be that the guy is just recovering from a breakup or has an ex girlfriend he can’t get over. This can make him to be unavailable for any serious relationship commitment at that time. A guy can do with your friendship in such situations but hardly your love. And if you push too hard, he could dump you because he is not emotionally or mentally disposed for love.
Also, the guy may just embrace your love only for the sake of needed comfort and companionship. Though it is possible that he gets over things with time and gets on sincerely with you, you are more likely to be disappointed.
So timing is important, and intensions must be made clear. If you don’t make clear your intensions early on, a guy can breakup with you if he realises only later on that your expectations are not in line with his.
But common interest does not guarantee that the relationship will end in marriage. That decision comes with time. It is influenced by several factors including compatibility; personality, behaviours, interests and physical and emotional needs.
Love alone is not enough
You and your guy may break all barriers, fall in love, and go into a relationship with common purpose, but that is only the beginning. It does not also guarantee marriage. Love alone is really not enough reason to go into marriage.
There people who have gone into marriage without falling in love and found great love in a lasting marriage. On the other hand, there those who have married in love and could not sustain their union.
Haven said that, there are things which a man looks out for in a woman he wants to marry. Some of these things are what makes a man fall in love in the first place. They include the following:
#1 Physical attraction
Physical attraction is very important. Attraction may come with time and effort on both parties. You expect to grow in likeness and continue to find your partner attractive, physically and emotionally. This takes work from both partners. But if along the way, a man realizes that you are not ready to put in effort in growing intimacy between you, he may back out. Guys need girls that are romantically creative in and out of bed – they have feelings. Another turn off could be bad hygiene including bad breath, bad body odour and dirtiness. A guy may give the relationship time, hoping that you may change. If things don’t improve, the relationship may come to an end.
#2 Personal manners
A girl can hide some aspects of her to a guy she is in relationship with. Most times the thinking is that if he knows he may not like me. This is a serious trap. If the guy eventually finds out, he may be disappointed maybe not because of who you are but for the pretence and deception. It’s always better to be yourself in any serious relationship. Let your partner accept you for who you are, and then you can grow together.
#3 Marriage material
Men across different cultures have varying requirements considered to make a woman a marriage material. However, there are some characteristics that are common across culture. A woman should be able to cook good food, she is expected to tidy and organize. If a guy observes that you do not have what he considers to make a woman marriage material, he is likely to end the relationship sooner or later.
Commitment is a declaration from a girl that she takes the relationship seriously. A man looking to marry you wants to be sure that you respect him and the relationship, and are committed to the common course. You can’t go about chasing other men, or giving them attention when you in a serious relationship. If a guy notices that you do not have confidence or trust in the relationship, he may reconsider taking the relationship to the next level. Sometimes it’s best to put your eggs in one basket.
Communication is very important. It can build, and lack of it can destroy. Once you are in a relationship with a serious minded person, let him know about your past and even your current conditions. Inform them know of your relationship history, health conditions and biological constraints. Choose the right time to communicate and use a good approach.
#5 Family Background
This is an important factor a man considers before marriage. Breakups base on this reason seems unfair but it is not uncommon especially in Africa. It is good that you discuss about your families and traditions early on in the relationship. Such discussions will equip you with knowledge that may otherwise threaten the stability of the relationship if it comes at a later time. It is better known now than later. Delay is dangerous.
#6 Religious faithfulness
Religion is no doubt one factor people consider when choosing a life partner. If you are of different religion, be sure that your guy is willing to live with that. Understand his view on the matter. It could be that he expects that you will change to his religion after marriage. Are you willing to accept that or not? And if you are of the same religion, be true to him about your spirituality level.
Don’t pretend to be better than who you are just because the guy wants a charismatic girl that can move mountains. If he later realizes that you really can’t even move a stone, things may not go well for the relationship. This would be especially so if he places his religion above his love for you. Besides, your pretense will question his trust for you.
These are but some of the few things you should consider when going into a serious relationship. Love alone is not enough. That you both have your minds set on marriage doesn’t guarantee marriage. Only time can tell; but the result is likely to be favorable if you have truly prepared yourself for marriage.
Have a beautiful relationship!