Reasons Commonly Responsible For Divorce
The vision for many people when they go into marriage is to live happily ever after the “I dos”. And that’s not too much to aspire for, but marriage is not always easy. It takes the commitment of both parties and a lot of other factors to realize and maintain desired happiness.
It is estimated that 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. Divorce is a relatively common occurrence with the rate of divorce varying by countries and regions.
But what are the reasons for divorce? I believe that knowing the causes of divorce can help young couples and people about to marry safeguard their marriage.
Most causes of divorce can be overcome through commitment, communication and the willingness to learn. Let us review 10 most common reasons for divorce, in the hope that you will learn from the mistake of others.
Infidelity is responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. A marriage where a partner is caught having extra-marital affair will be shaky for a long time before stability is restored, if it does not end in divorce. People cheat in marriage for different reasons. Anger and resentment are some of the underlying reasons for cheating.
Sex deprivation, differences in sexual appetite, and lack of emotional intimacy are some of the common reasons for infidelity. Infidelity may start as an emotional affair before progressing to a physical affair. Couples have to put continuous effort to maintain intimacy and ensure a balanced sex life in their marriage.
Finance is one topic that most people in relationship hardly talk about until they get marriage. Sometimes, even couples hardly do so straightforwardly. Problems may arise in marriage due to different spending habits and financial goals. In some instances, power struggle stemming from one partner making considerably more money than the other can bring a marriage to breaking point. Good understanding can help couples to notice and address these threats before they pose danger to their marriage. Couples who place their marriage above their careers and individual gains will more easily overcome the money problem.
#3 Lack of communication
Communication is crucial to success in marriage. Not being able to communicate effectively leads to resentment and frustration for both couples. This can impact negatively on all aspect of a marriage. A good communication is the foundation of a strong and stable marriage. Couples should talk enough each day, avoid nasty comments (except when made playfully) and use the right tone of voice when communicating. Through mindful communicating, couples can save their marriage from divorce resulting from communication problems.
#4 Constant arguing
Arguments cannot be ruled out completely from any relationship, and especially not from marriage. But argument can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the frequency and how it is handled. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again may tilt their marriage towards more serious problems. Often, constant arguments over the same issue occur because one partner feels they are not being heard or appreciated. Couples should learn to see the other person’s point of view at all times. Reasoning from your partner’s point of view helps avoid repeated arguments over the same issue.
#5 Lack of physical attraction
Sometimes after marriage, people may tend to be relaxed about maintaining their body and looks. Physical attraction is important in maintaining a happy and lasting marriage. Couples should recognize the need to maintain good looks necessary to spur romance and intimacy in marriage. Though it may seem unfair, but looks is important in keeping a marriage in shape. Paying no attention to your weight, dressing and hygiene when you are married can be damaging over time.
#6 Unrealistic expectations
It is easy to go into marriage with lofty expectations, and in fact, this is quite common. You may expect your partner and the marriage to live up to the image you conceive, plan or expect them to be. The reality is that things don’t always go according to plan in life. Unhealthy expectations can put a lot of strain on your spouse, leaving you feeling let down and setting them up for failure.
#7 Lack of intimacy
Feeling connected to your partner is very necessary in maintaining the health of a relationship. It is especially important in marriage; it is bad for couples to live like strangers. You must put conscious effort in securing physical and emotional intimacy in your marriage. Don’t mistake adequate sex for intimacy. Make sure that sex is not done out of a sense of responsibility but from a sincere desire of each other. Practice kindness and appreciation, and engage in romance and play to sweeten your marriage.
#8 Not being prepared for marriage
Marriage is supposed to be a life time commitment, and so it requires you to be prepared for it. Some people go into marriage because of family or peer pressure, money, power, status and many other reasons. When these form the major reason for you going into marriage, you may soon find yourself heading out of it. Situations can change, even in marriage. It is important then, to have a mindset of marriage – I am ready to live together with this person for better or for worse, until death do us apart.
Physical, emotional and even sexual abuse in marriage is a sad reality for some couples. It doesn’t always stem from a partner being a bad person. A marriage may start off on the right footing, but if along the way a partner places personal needs above those of the other person or the relationship, problems can set in. Many people tolerate some level of abuses in marriage but the safest thing could be separation.
# 10 Avoiding responsibilities
Couples are supposed to know and take their place appropriately in a marriage for it to work. Consistent shying away from responsibilities that you are supposed to perform can put unbearable pressure on your partner. Usually, good communication can help set things on track. There is nothing wrong in reminding your partner every now and then about what they need to do, or even helping out. But problems may arise if a partner consistently fails to do the things they are suppose to do in the marriage.
No marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges and end up in divorce. That is why it is important to address issues in your relationship early on. Communication is important to marriage success. Practice it, and practice also kindness. Make romance and intimacy a priority.
Remember that marriage is a commitment. To keep it, each person must work for the interest of the other and for the relationship.