How to Prepare Yourself For The Perfect Relationship
You can’t be unsure about yourself and be certain about anything else, it’s just not possible.
The truth is, if you want a perfect relationship you have to build one, and you ought to be the foundation of it. A perfect relationship begins long before you meet that special person. Before you can find that special person, you have to be prepared to meet him or her, else you may not even realize how special they are when they come around. Just as a solid and well laid foundation makes a building stand the test of time, so would a relationship in which you have truly prepared yourself for.
But why must I prepare myself ahead of a relationship you may ask. A better question would be “how?” You wouldn’t know that you are in the right relationship if you aren’t right with yourself. You can’t be unsure about yourself and be certain about anything else, it’s just not possible. It is ok to have doubts about other people and things but to have doubts about oneself or not to know oneself altogether calls for a serious work on self.
Preparation for the perfect relationship begins with self realization and acceptance. Yes, self realization can set things in place and rolling in the right direction, including relationships. I outline the following 5 steps as helpful in preparing for the perfect relationship:
#1 Self Discovery
Dwelling in each of us are two opposing forces – the true-self force and the false-self force. The true-self is the essence of who we are, no matter what people have told us about ourselves. The true-self breeds confident, inner peace, joy, contentment and helps us think clearly. Unfortunately for many of us the false-self force seems to dominate our true self, producing negative perceptions, self-judgement and even forcing us to live a lie.
The famous Greek aphorism “know thyself” has been around for a long time and still remains a very noteworthy statement today. It is believed that knowledge of oneself is the only real knowledge, for when one understands oneself, only then can one truly understand another. And I can hardly imagine a good relationship without mutual understanding.
But how can you know yourself? Yes, it is not an easy question, but you must take time to figure it out. Listen to yourself, conduct an honest evaluation of self. Think about who you are not who you want to be. Try to figure out what you want, what you need and what you really don’t. Think about what you like and dislike, what you are good at and what you can be good at. And when you are at these, you may also attempt to explain the why of the questions. Your answers should get you on the right footing. If you are stuck somewhere, ask God to help you out if you haven’t already done so.
And when you have finally realized who you are, when you find that sense of purpose, set yourself free, love and celebrate YOU.
#2 Keep your gifts and interests close
If you know what you like or are good at, then do it. Your interests largely defines your personality. Each and every one of us has a purpose here on earth. For us all, it is generally to love. You particularly do have something in you that defines you. It could be that you find inner joy and sense of fulfillment from helping others overcome their difficulties. Whatever it is you discover you are good at, keep it close.
It is not uncommon for people to be looking out for common interests as necessary criteria to begin a relation. In fact, many relationships often incubate under shared interest. The more sincere you are about your personality, interests and capabilities, the better your chance of making a genuine friend.
#3 Be yourself
You know who you are, be who you are. Live your life, not someone else’s. Embrace fully your relationship with yourself. Nurture YOU with love until you become insurmountable and unstoppable.
This is very important because you will face fierce forces of false-self in many forms along the track of life. Their intentions would be to limit you or better still, to steal YOU from you.
Whatever it is that defines you, be committed to it against all odds. Do not compromise on the values and principles derived from self discovery. That is how to be devoted to self; it is what it means to be you.
#4 Self development
Be better, there is always room for improvement. In fact, the irony is that the idea of a perfect relationship connotes continuous improvement. You want someone you can synergize with, someone who can bring out the best in you. That is a yearning for improvement. Begin the process of becoming better and it will be easier for your partner to help you become much better. Perfection is a process, and a perfect relationship is catalyzed by two appropriate compounds – you and your partner.
You can’t give what you don’t have, but do you expect to get what you don’t deserve? Let me help you with that, the right answer is NO. I know you can get away with stuffs, but not for too long. It is a basic law of nature – what you sow, you reap. The same applies to relationships. Whatever you put into a relationship, you get back. So develop in yourself what you want to give bearing in mind what you would like your relationship to be like.
On the foundation of self-knowledge build a knowledge base necessary for fair and rational interpersonal interaction. Learn as necessary, to appreciate others, to be committed, to see things from other people’s perspective, to respect people and their feelings, to be objective in your reasoning, to be just and honest, to be patient, to show concern for others; the list is endless. But to crown it all, learn never to stop loving.
Also, take your overall health seriously. Besides emotional and social development, there is need for physical development as well. Exercises frequently, maintain good hygiene, drink plenty of water and possibly undergo routine medical checkups. This is important as your health affects your emotional well-being which can turn out to impact negatively on the relationship you keep.
#5 Make the friend you need
Once you have what to give, it is easier for you to know those who need you. In fact, they would usually fine you. Make friends that would help you grow. But remember, perfection is a process, no one is perfect. That is why we say “make friend”. You are the creator of your relationship.
Have a beautiful relationship!