Never Say “I Was Busy” To Your Partner as an Excuse

I was busy. I hear these words too frequently today, especially by people in relationships, as an excuse for not having time for each other. But I say that “I was busy” is not an excuse, and certainly not a good one.

In an attempt to make it acceptable as a good excuse, you see people trying to garnish the words with sweet names (even those who hardly call their partner sweet names at ordinary times). You hear them say “Honey, I was busy”, “Sweetie, I was busy”, “Darling, I was busy” and the likes.

Still in the desire to push their poor excuses to acceptance, they may qualify the ‘busy excuse’ with adverbs such as “so”, “really” and “very”.

Saying “I was very busy” or “Sweetheart, I was too busy” is not an excuse, and it is certainly not any better than just saying “I was busy”. In fact, it extends the severity of the offence.

So why is “I was busy” not a good excuse?

I was busy is not an excuse

There is always time, even if it’s only small enough to say “I am so busy now sweetie”

Let’s say you had forgotten to put a certain crucial call through to your partner at the right time, or you couldn’t make it to an important event. It could be that you were really too busy to remember, or simply couldn’t do it for one reason or another. Submitting “I was busy” as excuse conveys the message that you place whatever it is you were busy doing before your partner.

To be busy is to be actively or fully engaged. It means to be occupied with something by choice. I was busy is a statement of choice. It says I chose this over that. And unless you have a good reason for your choice this excuse can reduce your partner’s confidence in you.

Certain moments in a relationship prove adequate in determining what importance a partner places on the relationship. If a person is always too busy at such moments as not to have time for their partner, it could at best send the wrong message.

Don’t get me wrong, it is ok to say “I was busy” but not as an excuse. Saying how busy you were at work when discussing how the day went with your partner is a good thing. As a matter of fact it can earn you some marks for being hardworking. But the same words when used as an excuse for failing to do something, especially when that something was a promise, does more harm than good to a relationship. It gets your partner thinking “…really, you were so busy that you couldn’t…?”

More so, saying “I was busy” lacks substance for a good excuse. And worst of all, trying to substantiate it could add more fuel to the fire. It tends to stress that you chose what you were busy with over your partner or the relationship. Your partner’s assessment may not result in any verbal confrontation but it will be registered in their heart. Offering such excuses continually over time could result in a shaky relationship; a partner may begin to question their place in the relationship.

So does it mean one can never be genuinely too busy to fail on a promise to a partner? Certainly not! When that happens, which shouldn’t be too often, it most likely would come from not remembering. Forgetting a time bound promise, especially at the heat of activities is normal even in relationships. Acknowledging such forgetfulness accompanied by a timely apology is a perfect solution.

But be careful not to make forgetting a habit. Constant forgetting can be rightly interpreted to mean you are losing interest in the relationship, especially when that has not always been the case.

And what if you didn’t forget, but simply failed because you had no chance to do it?

You don’t have to lie that you forgot.

You must have thought carefully before arriving at the decision to choose whatever it was you were doing over your duty to your partner. It could be that you had to attend a very important impromptu meeting at the office, or your boss handed you a work that needed to be turned in almost immediately. Whatever be the reason, your partner should understand with you if you communicate it well.

To make your excuse, not of being busy but of lack of chance, more acceptable you should send a text message or a chat. That doesn’t cost much these days, you need less than a minute to do it. There is hardly any excuse for not being able to do that.

Sending a message to your partner to let them know of your lack of chance shows you care. It communicates that they are your priority regardless of the circumstance.

Keep all promises, and give your relationship the needed attention. I was busy is not an excuse. Forgetting occasionally is acceptable, but work hard not to forget often. And when you are not chanced, send a text message.

Have a beautiful relationship!

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Relationship Watch

Relationship Watch

Relationship Watch is a mind-child of Emmanuel James, a Nigerian with an innate gift for relationship counselling and therapy. RW collects and conveys relationship ideas, opinions and experiences with the goal of helping people maintain healthy and beautiful relationships. Relationship Watch is anchored on the believe that society can only be as good as the relationships we keep with ourselves and the people around us. You are welcome to share your experiences with us.
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