You Can Make Your Relationship As Beautiful As Your Dream
You can make your relationship what you want it to be like by your actions and manners.
Before going into any serious commitment, you likely conceived of the type of relationship you desire to be in. You thought of the qualities and traits you expect in a partner. If those characteristics are present, you were positive you would be happy in the relationship. Not too long you found the one person who best matches your criteria. You extended your friendship to the borders of serious romantic relationship, and all was good as conceived.
But somewhere along the line things began to look different. Mister/Miss Right wasn’t making you feel as happy as you use to be. You ask yourself what’s happening and don’t seem to figure out a clear answer. Well, let’s look at that question once again – what do you think is happening?
Now let’s consider a probable explanation that might help:
Very often we go into relationships with vivid view of our own expectations. We however, pay little attention to what we have to bring into the partnership. That is often where the problem lies. We forget that it is in giving that we receive. Instead, we practice receiving before giving. Sometimes we are always ready to receive and never ready to give, or even unaware of the need to give.
If you love someone you would naturally give them your heart. You would give them your trust. You would think about them often, and give them the attention they deserve. Respect, care and commitment are other indices of love that your partner should enjoy. Love is best expressed by your actions. If you truly love your partner, you would have no problem ‘giving’ without reservation.
Shift thinking from “I love him because he does this and that for me” to “I love him so much I can do this and that for him” The former emphasize receiving and empowers expectation. The later on the other hand, emphasize giving and advocates selflessness. Expectation sometimes plays against selflessness. Relationship involves putting the other person first.
When you constantly put your interest before that of your partner, they may soon be worn out and have little motivation to give. Striking a balance between demand and supply can be a difficult thing to do. Hence this shouldn’t be the focus of any reasonable relationship. Each party in a relationship should strive to be as selfless as possible. This is the only way to achieve relationship equilibrium and make the relationship very enjoyable.
You can make your relationship healthier by using the selflessness formula. Results can easily be achieved if your partner is readily altruistic. Deploying the same approach in a relationship where the other person is self-centred or too demanding can be emotionally challenging. You may struggle between continuing to love them and giving up on them. When you truly love someone you generally expect them to love you back. This is the only expectation that there really should be in a loving relationship.
Such expectation is only right because relationship is meant to be enjoyed. It is meant to be an always accessible safe haven for you; a place where you can truly be yourself. In the company of your partner you should feel desired, respected and cared for. Unconditional love has one desired condition – “love me back”. This is what makes the love you have for someone you are in a relationship with different from the platonic love for everyone else.
So if Mister/Miss Right isn’t making you as happy as you were before. It is clearly a question of what has changed. Start by examining yourself, then your partner before taking a fresh look at your relationship. Have you loved them selflessly all along, or have you simply been feeding on their love for you? Have they changed from who they use to be, and what could have been the reason why? What beautiful relationship practices do you value in the past which have gone extinct, and how come about this?
These questions if answered sincerely may reveal the reasons for the staleness of your relationship. Once the reasons are digested, you can then proceed to decide a course of action to take. It is important to engage in open minded dialogue with your partner at some point. Communication is very important to the success of any relationship. Many problems can be avoided if people communicate in the right manner and at the right time. Healthy communication practices can help make your relationship what you want it to be like. But above all, remember that love entails selflessness and sacrifice. Love and be loved.
Have a beautiful relationship!