Personality Modeling: Change Your Character To Improve Your Personality
In the article titled “Understanding yourself: what your temperament says about you“, I made it clear that your personality is not absolute. Once you understand who you are, you will appreciate yourself more. You can become better and approach your best self. Your personality is not permanent.
You may not be able to change the fundamental makeup of your personality but you can adapt yourself extensively to suit your relationships. A person is like an open source software which can be tweaked to meet different tastes. We are created that way – with enough room for self development.
Change is said to be constant. This is true and when it comes to personality building, the change factor is called character. You can change your character to improve your personality. And of course I am talking about positive change here – we all desire attractive personalities.
Character = Personality + External influences
The character of a person is a product of his personality plus all other external influences – experiences, education, training, friendships, environment, associations, etc.
Character variables are controllable, and can influence natural personality traits. For example, a person of choleric temperament characterized by anger can eventually learn to overcome their anger-tendencies if they associates more with people of the more sociable sanguine personality.
No wander it is said “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are” or who you can become.
Character building is essentially personality building. It is achieved over time and is better done consciously than not. To build a good personality, focus on character development. Actively pursue relevant experiences and learning, seeking the right character traits for your desired personality. Make good friends and keep the right relationships while staying focus on the objective of being a better person.
Personality is the typical of pattern of thinking, feeling and behavior that makes you unique. It is important that you recognize you have control over which traits you want to develop, refine and integrate into your personality to create desired patterns. Through conscious and consistent effort you can shade off undesirable personality traits.
Maybe you are a sanguine who doesn’t like commitment and is easily distracted. It could be that you get easily moved to anger, are unnecessarily strict or unsympathetic to others. Or maybe you often find yourself being gloomy and depressed over small matters. Maybe still, you are a phlegmatic who sometimes doesn’t take life seriously, and has lost a great relationship as result.
All of these weaknesses can be addressed through character building, through the development of the right character traits and personal values.
To do this, focus on the right external influences with a strong desire to change the undesired personality traits.
A common external variable that is helpful in this process is learning – through experience, education and training. Anything is doable if you are willing to learn.
You can become more committed to yourself and your relationships despite your ‘natural’ disposition.
You can learn to love and be more affectionate. Anything less than perfect can be acceptable if you realize that there is really no perfection. You can be easygoing and happier if you desire to be.
There is a popular believe, mostly around career domain, that you can be who you want to be. This applies to personality development as much as it applies to career progression. In both cases you are required to rely on your inner strengths and be determine to succeed.
The first step to achieving a desired personality is to recognize that you can do it. Next is to work towards weakening the biological codes that constitute those undesired tendencies.
Generally we all desire to be attracted to others. However, too often we focus more on looks rather than personality building. Character is what projects who you are to others. This explains why people may be attracted to someone even though they are not good looking.
So how can you become better? You can improve your personality by imbibing some character traits and behaviours which include the following:
- Be a better listener
- Read and learn more
- Expand your interest
- Engage in conversations
- Meet new people
- Hold on to integrity and respect
- Have positive outlook to life
- Support others
- Welcome fun and humour
- Be faithful and honest
- Patience and endurance
- Be cheerful and playfulness
- Be approachable
- Take responsibility
- Be enthusiastic
These are but just a few things one can rely on to build a good personality. All of these attributes take time to develop. As with most things in life you may have to work hard to earn them.
I employ you to assess yourself, recognize your weaknesses and get to work to make yourself a better person. I often hear people say “you cant change who you are”, well I say you can and you should. You can be better. You can be better than better. Try to be someone your friends and love ones will enjoy relationship with.
Work on your character if you desire to become a better person. Change is constant and perfection is a process so you should be desirous of a better you. To say that you are OK with who you are is to limit yourself, to refuse to develop. It is to refuse the true essence of life – growth. Your body may deteriorate but let your spirit being strive towards perfection.
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