Intimacy Formula: How To Make a Woman Like You With Little Effort
So you want to make this woman like you, and have been working on it for some time now but get constant rejection or have made only little headway? Don’t worry I have you covered in this article. You are not along in the struggle. Women are delicate beings with variable personalities and needs. It can be really tough to please them.
The good thing is that women can be easily predictable. To compensate for their predictability, many women like guys with a certain amount of unpredictability. This is why some women seem to be drawn to the ‘bad guy’. It is not that they are drawn to his badness exactly but to his unpredictability.
Let’s get back to the problem at hand. You see, there is a formula used by many guys in attempt to solve the problem. You may have come across it in a different shade before. The formula is simply this:
A = Ax + Ay + Az where A stands for Attraction, Ax for Attention, Ay for Appreciation and Az for Admiration.
Thus, Attraction = Attention + Appreciation + Admiration
Now let’s examine each variable in the equation briefly.
Attraction is what you desire from the woman you are attracted to, or that you like or simply want. You want a reciprocation of what you feel. Ideally if you are genuinely attracted to a girl, she should also be attracted to you. But we do not live in a perfect world so that’s not always the case. It is not too common in the world we live in. Until the attraction equation is applied your feelings and that of the girl or woman you desire remain at tangent. For the record, I don’t believe in love at first sight. You may find a girl attractive but you must give her a reason to be attracted to you. And I am talking about a lasting attraction here, the kind that projects intimacy.
Yes, you want to let this woman know you are interested in her and that you care. You want to be there for her when you can and show concern when the right opportunities present themselves. What you don’t want to do, and shouldn’t do at all at the early stage of your chase is to try to show a woman affection. This would often be counterproductive. Channel your effort at winning her attention. Reserve your affection for later stages of the relationship, when intimacy is guaranteed or at least brewing.
Affection should develop mutually and naturally, indicating that you are getting beyond being attracted to each other. Attention, like affection, should be a two-way thing, only that it’s you who will initiate it either way. You should give her the attention and also get her attention. You get her attention through a number of ways including how you look, how you speak and how you act. Whatever it takes to get her attention while giving her yours, use it. But be tactful about it. You don’t want to compromise your position.
Appreciation and attention sometimes go hand-in-hand. You can get her attention by showing appreciation. The timing and the approach must be right. Even though women like to be appreciated all the time, you risk sounding unreal when you get the timing wrong or if you don’t employ the right manner. Your goal is to rewire the woman’s thinking therefore cautiousness is a key requirement. Most times you would have to get her attention first before you can have the opportunity to appreciate her. When you can, show her you are an understanding guy, a gentleman with self-worth and a good sense of judgment. Opportunities for appreciation often come after she has reciprocated your attention to her, at least to some degree. Let her know how much you value her time, her support and her encouragement. Make her feel a great sense of worth; women like to be relevant. Well, all humans do.
Women like to be admired. After spending so much time doing makeup, she would be happy to know that people can see the pretty girl she saw in the mirror before leaving the house. Admiration can be a way of giving a woman attention. It is also an effective way to win a woman’s attention. It may go in the form of complement, encouragement or even appreciation. Whenever it seems appropriate, show the woman you desire that you admire her. Complement her looks, her works, and encourage her to be better. Doing this rightly will earn you attention, even if it’s for courtesy sake. With time things will change and you could be on your way to getting her genuinely attracted to you.
The formula we just examined may be one you already know and probably have been applying, so why aren’t you getting the right result? Well, there is something very important missing in that formula. It is a crucial constant M, which is very important for the achievement and relative stability of variable A (Attraction). Slot in this constant into the equation and you will have what I call the Intimacy Formula. The Intimacy Formula actually resolves for attraction. Intimacy is a function of attraction over time.
So the formula that really works becomes:
A = Ax + Ay + Az + M, where M is Moderation, you already know the rest.
Yes, Moderation is a very important factor in the Intimacy Formula. It is the moderator. M may seem negligible but it should not be left out if the correct result must be found. This is where a lot of guys miss it. This is what you are probably missing. You see, moderation is the key to everything, especially when it comes to chasing the girl or woman you like. Moderation has much to do with being unpredictable. Moderation is power. This is probably why it is not easy to master.
Now that we have discovered our missing magic constant, let’s also examine it briefly.
Moderation is about quantity, timeliness and appropriateness. You should know what is required, when to do it and how to do it. You do not overdo it neither do you under-do it. This is largely what determines the perceived sincerity of your gesture and ensures it is received as meaningful. Attention is cheap when you have some spare time (of which there would be plenty when you are interested in someone), appreciation can be given falsely and admiration can be feigned. Moderation on the other hand can only be available or not. When moderation is absent, you may experience a dash towards unnecessary abundance or dreadful lack. Either way can be a problem.
What makes moderation key to the attraction equation is that it is, by itself, a function of time. What a constant you would say. Yes, moderation is a constant in the attraction equation in the sense that it must be present at all times for a meaningful result. Notice that one or two of the other variables in the equation can equally resolve to Attraction, subject to good moderation. In other words, A (Attraction) is approximately equal to any of the following:
Ax + M
Ay + M
Az + M
Ax + Ay + M
Ax + Az + M
Ay + Az + M, where all constituents retain their usual meaning.
Observe that A does not equate to M. This is impossible as there must be something to moderate. The time function is very important to the equation and it is only through moderation that it is introduced.
The tendency for most guys in pursuing a woman or girl they like is to dish out lofty attention, appreciation and admiration without proper moderation. At every given opportunity and sometimes inappropriate situations they convey some of these attributes to a girl hoping she will become attracted to them. Well, on need bases this might work for a moment, but usually not for long. Now let’s consider briefly why doing this may be counterproductive:
Too much of A-Attributes
In a bid to get a woman you like, or want, to like you back it is good to give her attention, to show her you admire her and to appreciate her when you can. The problem is that doing this can equally be a problem. The commonest reason why that may be harmful rather than helpful is when you overdo it. When you give a woman too much attention, most of the time it works against the desired objective of getting her to like you or better still, getting her attracted to you. This assertion may also hold true for an already established relationship depending on the partner. You see, when you give a woman too much attention you are communicating that you are obsessed. In other words, you are almost the opposite of a challenge. Women like guys who are interesting, mysterious and challenging. That is the surest way to trigger attraction in a woman.
When it comes to appreciation and admiration, it is so much about the quality rather than the quantity to get a woman attracted to you. Women like to be appreciated and admired all the time. But doing so can backfire if not properly executed. The catch is to be timely and sincere in your admiration and appreciation. If for example you find a woman you admire beautifully dressed and looking gorgeous don’t hesitate to compliment her on her looks. If however what she is putting on is not appropriate for an event, don’t complement her when she request for your opinion simply because you feel she needs it. Rather, politely submit your sincere opinion and she would respect you for it. Remember that people out there will also see her when she leaves the house. It may not be a good score for you if she realizes later on that her dressing is inappropriate for the event. The key to getting a woman attracted to you is to know how to use the attributes of attention, appreciation and admiration in effective proportions.
So how do you know just how to vary these constituents? That’s where moderation comes in proper. Remember I said moderation is actually a variable, that it is only a constant in the sense that it must be present in the equation for the right result to be achieved. That is mathematically unconventional you will say. But it isn’t some complex calculus or a space science equation. We are dealing with improvised mathematics in social dimension here. Let’s get back to the question. The answer is the M value you choose. Since M is a function of time, you can vary its value along with the other variables of your chosen at any moment. A good moderation is one that works optimally.
Moderation of A-Attributes
As earlier stated, moderation is the key to solving the problem of getting that woman you like to like you back, and not in Facebook sense. Its importance to your success cannot be overemphasized. Always give the woman you admire the right attention. Notice I didn’t say ‘give her the desired attention’. That’s because the desired attention may not be right for your purpose. It may not produce optimal effect at that time. The worst thing for you is to give her the attention she does not desire. Remember that moderation is your control factor. It is your power to remain unpredictable, engaging and in control. As with attention, quality and timing is important when you admire or appreciate the woman you like.
Importantly, through moderation you can create in a woman the need for any of the attributes in the Intimacy Formula. You can even turn the table around, making a woman chase you instead of you chasing her. You can make her do this without even knowing you are making her do it. Once you have secured her attention, you are one step towards success. Take advantage of her predictability, of knowing what she wants. Sometimes when you know just what she wants, deny her of it for the moment only to surprise her later. This is how you stay mysterious, challenging and interesting. This formula is a sure approach to getting the woman you like attracted to you. Put it to use and you will experience amazing results.