How to Communicate In a Relationship When You Are Angry
Like quarrel, anger is sometimes unavoidable in relationships. But how you react when you are angry would either help calm the situation or fuel the problem further with regrettable consequences. The following approaches would help you resolve issues better when you are angry.
If your partner gets you seriously angry about something, stop, take a deep breath, take a step back and relax. Tell them you would like a short break before continuing the conversation. Taking a break can keep the situation from getting worse. It would give you time to calm down, recollect and refine your thoughts. If you find it difficult to achieve the ambiance necessary for right thinking, consider talking with a friend or a family member. You can equally take a walk, play a game, watch a movie, listen to some music or do whatever helps you feel relaxed.
Once you are no longer upset, think about the situation and the circumstances leading to it. Be objective; try to view things from the two sides, your perspective and your partners. This will help you keep an open mind when you meet to discuss the problem. After you have figured out the real problem, also think about how you would explain your feelings to your partner.
Now you have things thought out and are clear on what you think the cause of the problem is, what is next is to meet and discuss. Present your reasons in a clear tone and friendly manner. Do not raise anger in your partner as this can set things back to square one. If necessary, allow your partner to talk first while you listen.
After you tell your partner how you feel, stop talking and listen to what they have to say. They equally deserve the opportunity to express how they feel. Allow room for fair hearing; don’t let your preconceptions overshadow your judgment. Your partner may offer explanations that can change your thinking or perceptions completely. It is important that you remain calm and listen with sincere interest.
Haven heard from your partner, you both should come to terms. Avoid prolonging the reconciliation talk, it is not a court case. Whether or not you have come to clear terms, render sincere apology for your own failures. Your partner would reasonably do the same. Forgive your partner, cuddle or hug in solidarity and resume your normal loving life. You have rubbed yourself of enough time of joy and bliss already.
Now that the fight is over, what are the lessons learnt? Well, the intention was not so that lessons can be learnt. In fact, the fight couldn’t have been intentional but still it offers a great opportunity for learning. What did you do wrongly? Could you have reacted differently? What have you learnt? Answering these questions would help you live and communicate better with your partner.
Communicating is not always easy. At first, these tips may feel unnatural or difficult to practice, but they will help you communicate better and build a healthier relationship. Try to practice them and you eventually gain mastery of them and your relationship will witness less and less problems.