7 Tips on how to choose the right partner for a relationship

right partner

For some people this topic is an easy one; you know you have found the right person when you find love, and sometimes love finds you first. But I am taking a slightly different stand on this – it is both an art and a skill to find the right person for the right reasons at the right time.

The truth is, when love finds you first, it is an honour but most times you have to find love yourself. This requires skills (the priciest of which is patience) and resources (the greatest of which is time). Even when love finds you first, it is wise to validate its identity. It is easy to confuse lust and infatuation with love.

Here are some few tips I have put up for improving your skill set for securing the right partner:

#1       Be patience

I believe that patience coming as number one is not a surprise to you. The old saying “patience is virtue” is true but you know what else, patience is golden. When you are not patient, you stick with what you can get now and lose out of what is best for you which could have come with a little waiting. Don’t jump into relationships too quickly or go into one out of fear. Patience would not come naturally to you, it is something that must be learned and practiced. Learn to exercise patient and you will get the right partner. But don’t wait patiently doing nothing, search patiently.

#2       Make time available

Like any other activity, the search for the right partner requires you to invest a good amount of time into it, even more when you finally find the person. Well established relationships have failed for lack of this important resource. A potential partner would want to know that you can care about them more than other things in your life. He or she would like to know that you would be there for them when they need you. If you can’t make time available for your relationship you will likely lose it.

#3       Give people a chance

It is very common to hear people say they wouldn’t go out with someone because he or she is not their type. Such people are probably waiting for magic love from outer space. How can you conclude that someone you hardly know is not your type? Sometimes when you get closer to people, you realise they are not like you see them from a distance or through the eyes of other people. Give someone a chance.

#4       Minimal checklist

Some people have extensive checklist of the qualities their ideal partner must have. If you confine yourself to a checklist, you may miss out on some good matches for you. It is almost impossible to find a partner who would meet all traits and qualities you have listed. You should have and expect a pass mark, taking into account the factors that matter most to you. Perfection is a process; as long as the person is open to learning and communicating you guys would grow.

#5       Watch your feelings

As I mentioned earlier, it is easy to confuse lust or infatuation with love. When someone you admire isn’t emotionally available to you and you don’t know where they stand, it creates a type of anxiety in you. This can fuel your feelings for the person as you wait for change to happen. Don’t confuse this kind of feeling for love. If it isn’t mutual then it probably isn’t worth your time. The one who deserves you would not only have time for you but will satisfy your emotional needs.

#6       Be yourself

This one is simple. It is just that – be yourself. In life it can be difficult to find venues where you can truly be yourself. A relationship should be one place where you can be 100 percent yourself with complete acceptance and no judgement. You can only achieve this when you present yourself honestly in the beginning and throughout the relationship. This helps your partner build a true image of you. Honesty is a key part of any successful relationship. A relationship built on falsehood, deception and lies will not stand the test of time. Be true, be yourself.

#7       General expectations

There are certain characteristics that are invaluable to the success of any relationship. You should look out for those qualities in your potential partner. If you find empathy, honesty, integrity, kindness, reliability and emotional generosity in the person then you should be serious about giving them a chance even if they don’t seem like your type on the surface. You may never know how your friendship with them would turn out to be.

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